Naruto one-shots and drabbles
by RayvnAshes2
Summary: Basically, they're scenes I wrote that I don't want to write an entire story for. Some are SasuNaru, others ItaNaru, other chapters w/out pairings, chapters either yaoi or female!Naruto, fluff, angst, humor, friendship, and whatever else I want to write involving the Naruto series. Rated T, I guess.
1. ItaNaru: The Uchiha Munchies

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Or anything else mentioned in this.**

 **NOTE: these one-shots aren't necessarily connected. They're drabbles. They don't happen in the same universe, or under the same circumstances. This story WILL have yaoi, though not for this chapter, and flames will be laughed at mockingly because they won't change or influence me.**

 **Warnings for this chapter: female Naruto, Itachi x Naruto pairing, brotherly Sasuke**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Naruto skipped around the kitchen, whistling cheerfully as she put away the groceries.

"You know, we can have a Genin team do our shopping." Sasuke reminded her, eyeing the dozens of heavy-looking bags. And she had carried them home by herself…

Damn.

She wasn't even trying, and he still felt like he was being guilt-tripped.

"Nah, I enjoy it." Naruto said, shaking her head as she reached on her tippy-toes to place the rice where it belonged. "It's nice not being overcharged for everything I buy. Guess it helps I'm paying for it with Uchiha money."

The younger Uchiha brother scowled. "They shouldn't do that regardless."

The blonde nineteen year old smiled a bit at her companion's comment, but didn't say anything as she reached into one of the bags.

Sasuke's face brightened as Naruto handed him a tomato.

"You are the best sister-in-law a guy could have." He told his best friend seriously, earning a laugh from the blonde.

The psychology books Ino leant her were doing some good after all, then. Conditioning and positive reinforcement.

Reward for good behavior: tomato.

"And if I have it my way, the _only_ one you'll have." She responded with a grin.

"Then you're stuck with us, I'm afraid." A voice whispered from behind her, and Naruto turned towards her husband, grabbing a box of pocky and offering to him.

Sasuke's eyes softened as he watched Itachi take the box and set it back down on the countertop, only to pick his wife up, set her down on that same countertop, and kiss her gently.

His mouth turned up into a small smile, biting into his tomato.

An Uchiha, paying more attention to a living being than their food obsession?

It must be love.

Sasuke hummed happily, closing his eyes as he continued to eat the delicious red fruit in order to give his brother and best friend a bit of privacy.

Yeah, the two Uchiha men weren't about to let her leave the family.

Not only did she not mind their own food cravings (heck, she had her own, her ramen obsession was legendary), but she even bought them tomatoes and the chocolate-covered biscuit sticks, just because she knew that they loved them.

The two brothers really needed someone like that.

And honestly, so did the blonde.

* * *

 _This is my family. I found it all on my own._

 _It's little, and broken, but still good._

 _Yeah. Still good._

* * *

 **Please review! :)**

 **That quote at the end was from the movie Lilo and Stitch, for those of you who don't recognize it and are wondering.**


	2. SasuNaru: Where are you taking me?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

 **Warnings for this chapter: SasuNaru yaoi (meaning male Naruto this time), idiot council members, and a little bit of innuendo**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

"Woah!" a certain blonde Jinchūriki yelped as he found himself yanked out of his seat at Ichiraku's, only to look up and see his boyfriend pulling him along. "Sasuke?"

"Hn." The Uchiha grunted.

"…You owe me a bowl of ramen, teme." Naruto huffed. "Mind telling me where we're going?"

"To the courthouse." He answered promptly, peeking his head out of the ally and checking for his horrible fangirls.

Naruto stared at Sasuke in utter shock, eyes open wide and mouth open, silently repeating the raven-haired boy's words.

"Excuse me?" he gasped.

There were few things that a ninja would go to a village courthouse for, since most things were handled by the Hokage.

The only thing he could think of would be—

"The council is trying to pass a decree to force me into the CRP, the Clan Restoration Program." Sasuke explained with a grimace, cutting off Naruto's train of thought before it could reach its destination.

Naruto flinched.

That was one aspect of their relationship that they hadn't talked about.

"Well…" the blonde began reluctantly. "You did say your ambition was to restore your clan."

It had to be said, no matter how much it hurt for him to do so.

He was surprised when Sasuke snorted dismissively.

"Ugh, please." The Uchiha heir shuddered a bit. "There's only one person I can stand having any physical contact with, much less _that_ kind of physical contact, and I'm talking to him right now."

The blonde flushed a bit at his blunt statement, but a small smile found its way to his mouth.

"Continue…" Naruto urged, still not _quite_ sure where this was going.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "They're not just trying to get me to have little Uchiha heirs, but force me to marry some bimbo. That can't _happen_ if I'm already married. The council can't force a divorce or annulment."

Naruto tripped as the full force of that statement hit him.

"The hell?!" he huffed out after a moment, regaining his balance. "That was the lamest proposal I've ever heard!"

Sasuke stopped, blinking at him in confusion, before a look of understanding graced his features, and he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Ah." He said awkwardly. "I guess I did kind of jump the gun."

"Yeah, you did, teme." Naruto said wryly, crossing him arms. "Ask me, this time. _Properly._ "

Sasuke took a deep breath and got down on one knee, pulling out a small black box from his weapons' pouch.

Naruto's eyes widened in shock.

Why did Sasuke have a ring? He'd made it sound like the council had only just announced their intentions, and that they needed to get married immediately in order to get around it.

Unless…

"I've had this for a while." Sasuke admitted with a shrug, confirming Naruto's suspicions. "Hadn't found the right time."

And an hour later…

* * *

"THE UCHIHA IS ALREADY MARRIED?!" one of the civilian council members roared furiously.

It surprised no one, considering the woman had offered up her own daughter as a candidate to be the Uchiha heir's future wife. Honestly, she probably would have offered up herself, if she could.

Tsunade's eyes glinted happily, though she kept her facial expression neutral.

She had been extremely irritated when a messenger had burst into their even more irritating council meeting,but with the news that two of the most prominent teenagers in Konoha had eloped, news she was more than happy.

Sasuke had found out about the council's plans, and instead of going along with them, he'd decided to stay loyal to Naruto.

Considering she still didn't quite trust him after he ran to join Orochimaru, this earned him a few brownie points from her. And Jiraiya. And Kakashi. And Iruka, when he heard about it later.

"Calm down, Kimiko." Another council member said calmly. "We simply have to annul their marriage."

"Actually…" Shikaku drawled with a bit of a smirk. "I doubt an annulment would be valid at this point."

The pair blinked in confusion before scowling as the implications of that statement hit them.

"A divorce, then." The woman said with an annoyed huff.

"Can't do that, either." Chouza butted in cheerfully. "Both parties have to sign the papers willingly."

"He went and got married to his _boyfriend_ of six months, just so he didn't have to marry one of those creepily obsessive stalkers." Kakashi said, eyes 'smiling.' "A divorce is definitely not going to happen."

Chouza nodded in agreement.

"A _boy_ who cannot give him heirs." The woman scoffed.

Tsunade shrugged. "The law is the law. I'm not about to break it for something as stupid as this. Besides, ever heard of surrogacy?"

At this, the woman's eyes brightened again.

"Don't bother offering your daughter again." Jiraiya called over his shoulder as he exited the chamber. "Those two are more than capable of choosing for themselves. If they even want kids."

"And if they don't, we have no authority to force them to." Tsunade added.

Both of them were well aware that the young couple were _going_ to have kids someday. Naruto had always wanted a family, and though Sasuke had chosen him over a life married to a fangirl whose sole purpose in life was to pop out his kids, that didn't mean that he didn't _want_ kids. If it was with the right person.

But the civilian council members didn't know that, and it was entertaining seeing them freak out about the prospect of losing the Sharingan forever.

The ninja side of the council knew better, however, and simply watched the show.

* * *

 **Please review! :)**


	3. ItaNaru: Daisies

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

 **Warning: female Naruto, ItaNaru, Valentine's Day, fluff**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Naruto tilted her head thoughtfully as she stared at a patch of flowers (weeds, really) outside of her little apartment, before beaming as an idea struck her.

She knelt down, ignoring the soil dirtying her pants, and carefully picked the best looking daisy she could find…

* * *

That evening, when she felt her favorite guard's presence take the place of the ANBU whose shift was before his, she beamed.

She crept towards her window and opened it, before calling out softly; "Weasel-san!"

A moment later, a short male clad in the ANBU uniform appeared a few feet in front of her. "Hai, Naruto-chan?"

Proprieties be damned, but he had grown fond of the cheerful girl with so much hope in the world (hope that he himself had begun to lose), and she'd protested the last time he'd referred to her formally.

"Sensei told us that Valentine's Day is a day where girls give a 'token of their affections' to a boy they appreciate!" the seven year old girl informed the thirteen year old, who raised an eyebrow in response, not that the girl could see it behind his mask.

"Hai…" he agreed carefully. "Though as you get older it would be wise to be more selective in who you give your tokens."

Naruto tilted her head slightly, a bit confused, but shrugged it off. "Okay, Weasel-kun! But for now…"

She brought her arm out from behind her back, and offered him the white daisy, which he accepted with slightly shaking hands.

Weasel stared at the flower, innocently given by a girl who legitimately appreciated him for who he was as opposed to the silly girls of his acquaintance when he didn't have his mask on who threw themselves at him for no reason but his prodigal status and family name.

"Thank you." He whispered, cupping the flower in his hands and looking at it like it was the most precious gift he had ever received.

(And in a way, it was.)

Naruto beamed, pleased at his reaction, before leaning forward and gave him a small kiss on his mask.

* * *

A month later, on March 14, also known as White Day, Itachi returned the favor by gifting her a plate of cookies and a pack of flower seeds with instructions and tools to cultivate the flowers, having noticed the child's interest in gardening after Hokage-sama gave her a plant that she named Mr. Ukki.

When the girl discovered the gifts that morning and gasped in awed delight (someone cared enough about _her_ , Konoha's outcast?), Itachi's eyes softened and his lips quirked into a small smile, which only became more obvious as Naruto glanced around with a smile, whispering a quiet thanks to the boy she _knew_ was there.

* * *

Uchiha Mikoto's eyes gleamed happily as she imagined what sort of girl her elder son had actually _baked_ cookies for, something which she would have never imagined him doing.

What she wouldn't give to meet the girl who had earned such a reaction from him.

* * *

Five years later, when Naruto returned to her hotel room after Jiraiya fought off Itachi and Kisame, intent to get a good night's sleep before trying again to convince Tsunade to come back to Konoha, eyes grew wide as she saw a daisy laying on her pillow.

Despite all that she had learned about Itachi since his disappearance when she was younger (oh yes, she was well aware that he was her favored Weasel), and his rather confusing behavior towards her earlier when they had tried to kidnap her, she smiled slightly, picking it up and holding it to her nose as she enjoyed the subtle scent.

Maybe it was just her imagination, but she felt that the gift was Itachi's way of reassuring her that despite appearances, he was still the man she had come to care for her. The one who had protected her from the villagers (and some ninja) who sought to hurt her for the demon she contained.

As she thought about it, she realized that as long as Itachi was in Akatsuki, she really had nothing to fear from them, even if they did want to extract Kyūbi, which would kill her. Itachi would so everything in his power to keep her safe.

* * *

When Itachi threw himself in front of an attack meant for Naruto, finally revealing that his true loyalty was and always had been to Konoha, Naruto was the only one who wasn't surprised in the least.

Though she made sure to express her displeasure with him for getting injured while he was in the hospital and unable to avoid her reprimands.

Sasuke wasn't so easily won over, considering everything that Itachi had put him through, but when Itachi's testimony and some _interesting_ files provided by Sai after raiding ROOT's headquarters forced a trial for one Shimura Danzō, the younger Uchiha reluctantly accepted that the man had forced Itachi's hand.

It would take a long while for their relationship to resemble anything close to family again, but Itachi thought it worth the wait.

* * *

*Twelve years later*

"Hey, Naruto!" Ino called, preparing for her shift at her family's flower shop. "I've never asked. What are your favorite flowers?"

Naruto offered the girl a soft smile that immediately peaked her interest, though she knew the orange-clad girl well enough not to dig for information.

Ugh, the headaches she'd gotten in the past from the girl's top-notch evasion tactics…

She was so lost in her thoughts that she almost didn't catch Naruto's answer.

"Daisies." The now twenty-four year old answered with a fond smile.

She glanced at the wedding band that graced her left ring finger and placed her right hand on her stomach, specifically the slight baby bulge hidden by her jumpsuit until the time her and Itachi announced the news.

Ino didn't notice.

"Definitely daisies."

* * *

From the afterlife, Uchiha Mikoto smiled down at the young woman who had become her daughter-in-law, who she now knew had been the recipient of Itachi's efforts that White Day so many years ago.

A most interesting and amazing girl indeed.

She felt secure in the knowledge that her eldest son had found the happiness that had eluded him during his childhood, and even Sasuke's mood improved when the blonde was near.

Now if only Sasuke himself would accept a girl. She wanted as many grandbabies as possible, and he _had_ said his dream was to restore the Uchiha clan…

* * *

 **Please review! :)**


	4. SasuNaru: warning, some Sakura bashing

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the song The Boy Is Mine by Brandy and Monica.**

 **Note: the dialogue is pretty much directly from the lyrics of the song, paraphrased a bit with a few lines taken out because the two girls are having a conversation and the original words wouldn't make as much sense. When Sasuke comes in at the end is the point where the lyrics in the dialogue stop.**

 **I originally posted this a few hours ago as a separate story, but quickly got frustrated with the flames I was getting. Honestly, complaints about SasuNaru not being canon, Naruto being a girl, and Sakura being bashed when those exact warnings were there for all to see not only down in the next paragraph but in the summary of the story before they even clicked it? And another complaining that Sakura was listed as a main character if I was intending to bash her? She is one of the main characters in this chapter and was thus included in the characters section.**

 **Anyway. Unlikable Sakura probably won't appear in too many chapters. She's an integral part of Team 7-to mess that up would just be wrong. There is no Team 7 in this particular chapter, though, and she doesn't know Naruto at all in the beginning, so all she sees is some tramp (in her mind) 'flirting' with the guy she's determined to be with.**

 **Warning: slight AU, SasuNaru, female Naruto, songfic, and Sakura being overconfident, envious, presumtuous, and in denial**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Sakura scowled as she saw Naruto laugh at something Sasuke said, causing the black haired boy's lips to twitch in an almost smile…

Something that Sakura had never managed to get from him before.

Once the Uchiha boy had gone, Sakura walked up to Naruto.

"Excuse me, can I please talk to you for a minute?" the pinkette asked.

"Uh huh, sure." The blonde said with an honest smile, before tilting her head slightly. "You know, you look kind of familiar…"

Sakura frowned slightly. "Yeah, you do to….anyway, I just wanted to know…do you know somebody named…well, you know his name."

Naruto's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Uh, who?"

"Your friend." Sakura sneered at the term. "He was just here."

"Oh!" Naruto smiled. "Sasuke? Well of course I know his name!"

"I just wanted to let you know he's mine." Sakura informed her haughtily, walking away before Naruto could respond.

Neither of them noticed a third girl watching, with blonde hair that was paler than Naruto's.

"No, Sakura." The purple-clad girl said softly. "He's hers."

 _You need to give it up.  
Had about enough.  
It's not hard to see  
the boy is mine._

When Sakura saw her Sasuke-kun talking to the blonde tramp again, she went up to the pair and yanked the girl away from him by the arm, pulling her to a dark alley before confronting her.

"I think it's time we got this straight, let's sit and talk face to face." Sakura hissed, Medusa-like snakes coming from her hair. "There is no way you could mistake him for your man, are you insane?"

Naruto's eyes widened as she suddenly understood what the fuss was all about. She reached up, easily removing Sakura's hands from their tight grip around the blonde's shoulders. "I get it. You're jealous of me."

 _Cause' you're blind if you can't see  
that his love is all in me._

Sakura scowled again.

'You're going to get wrinkles if you keep making ugly faces like that.' Naruto thought, bemused.

"I didn't want to say this, but he told me that without me, he couldn't make it through the day. Isn't that a shame?" Sakura asked sweetly.

Naruto raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

Did this chick not know Sasuke at all? No way would he ever say something like that.

"I think you misunderstood." The blonde said wryly, deciding not to point out the girl's obvious lie.

 _Plus I can't see how he could  
wanna take his time and that's all good.  
All of my love was all it took_.

Sakura glared at the insolent blonde.

Didn't she know that she wasn't good enough for Sasuke-kun, last of the famous Uchiha clan?

As her eyes lit up at thoughts about marrying the other teen and being envied by all of the women in Konoha, doing her part to restore the nearly-extinct clan, Sakura smirked viciously.

"The boy is mine. You need to give it up." She declared. "It's not hard to see the boy is mine."

Naruto shook her head, more than tired of this shit. "I'm sorry that you seem to be confused. If Sasuke 'belongs' to anyone, he belongs to me. 'The boy' is mine."

Sakura laughed mockingly. "Must you do the things you do? Keep on acting like a fool, you need to know it's me not you, and if you didn't know it girl it's true!"

"I think that you should realize and try to understand why he is part of my life." Naruto told the other girl, and seriously, would she ever give up? "I know it's killing you inside."

"You can say what you wanna say, what we have is something you can't take." Sakura taunted. "You can't escape from the truth; I can tell the real from the fake!"

Naruto shook her head slowly, backing away from the pinkette.

Sakura thought that she had won their little 'battle,' until Naruto's head rose and deep blue eyes were suddenly staring into hers.

"You can't destroy this love I've found." Naruto said softly. "Sasuke is mine without a doubt."

Sakura screeched furiously, lunging towards the blonde, only for Naruto to dodge gracefully.

"What makes you think that he wants you?" the blonde continued, still easily dodging the attempted attacks. "I'm the one who—"

"She's the one I love." a voice interrupted.

The two girls froze in shock (Sakura) and surprise (Naruto) as they turned towards the entrance of the ally, only to see Sasuke standing there, hands in his pockets and a frown on his face and he leaned against the wall.

"Yeah!" Sakura shouted in glee. "Sasuke-kun! You tell her! We're meant to be together!"

She lunged forwards, hoping that he would catch her and give her a kiss, finally acting on his repressed longing for her.

'Sasuke-kun, you're so sweet!' Sakura thought giddily. 'There's no need to be shy!'

At the last moment, when Sasuke was sure that Sakura wouldn't be able to stop her course, he dodged her grip and calmly walked towards Naruto.

"Dobe." The black-haired boy grunted.

"Teme." Naruto smiled warmly at her boyfriend, taking his hand.

Sasuke made to pull her out of the filthy alleyway, but Naruto hesitated, biting her lip.

"What?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto sighed. "We need to nip this in the bud before it gets out of hand."

Sakura heard that comment, and her delusional mind translated it as Naruto breaking up with Sasuke-kun before their obviously horribly-matched relationship so that Sasuke-kun could be with Sakura, his true love.

Hey, no one ever claimed that fangirls were the epitome of sanity.

Sasuke closed his eyes, sighing in both resignation and exasperation before turning to Sakura, who looked at him hopefully and expectantly, eyes shining in excitement.

"I will never love you." Sasuke told her. "I was talking about Naruto."

Sakura's eyes widened in shock as her dreams crashed and burned right in front of her eyes.

"You know nothing about me," The Uchiha heir continued. "And I'm not interested in knowing you."

Naruto grimaced. "That might be a bit harsh, Sasuke-teme…"

Sasuke shook his head. "No it isn't. She's an obsessive, delusional stalker. I am NOT hers, and I never will be."

Sakura got up and ran away from the happy couple before he could say anything else, tears streaming down her face and feeling the harsh sting of rejection.

 _I'm sorry that you  
seem to be confused.  
He belongs to me  
the boy is mine._

Ino sighed as she patted Sakura's shoulders, her best friend crying from what she thought of as her life being ruined.

Honestly, the pinkette was so dramatic.

Sure, Ino had liked Sasuke as much as the next girl, at one point, but after seeing him with Naruto she knew that she didn't have a chance. Naruto was the only one who Sasuke would ever love romantically.

There was a running bet about their relationship, and Ino had money on Sasuke proposing to the blonde Kitsune before graduation.

If Sakura had only listened to the gossip mill, maybe she would have realized that before making a complete and utter fool of herself.

* * *

 **Please review! :)**

 **Think I was too harsh on Sakura? Eh, I couldn't figure out a better way for the message to sink in: that Sasuke wasn't hers and never would be because he didn't appreciate the fangirls' (which Sakura definitely still is in this chapter) stalking and obsessing over him and because he's already in a relationship.**


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